I have heard too many times during the readings that I give, that people find it hard to forgive someone who has passed that had hurt them deeply but feel they must in order to move on with their life.
Nothing could be further from the truth...let me explain. The catchy phrase seems to be, "I will forgive, but not forget". Really? Then if that memory lingers and conjures up painful memories of what that person or persons did to us; have we really forgiven them?
To wipe our memories clean of any pains that people have inflected on us is almost impossible.
So...can forgiving others helpful? Healthy? Of course...forgiving others releases a lot of hurt that otherwise can fester and grow within us.
If we forgive others, we can move on...right? yes of course, but only if the mind and the heart are in the right place...not because others told you to or because you have a checklist in your mind and forgiving others will put a check in that particular box.
There are other ways to move on with your life...forgiveness, when done correctly, is but one of them. Sometimes, we just have to bury the past and say to ourselves, "I cannot at this time forgive that person, but I'm going to do my best to bury the past and those memories and move on with my life."
You don't have to forgive in order to move on...but you don' have to be bitter either.
As I tell my clients often...bury the past but don't reach for the shovel. There are times to forgive and there are times to search for another way to move on
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